Far from it, as I do think my clients are ok. And I often do think that their environment is not.
So why do I insist change has to start with them?
Why would I suggest an abused spouse leave rather than try and change their partner?
Why would I suggest that an unhappy spouse work on him/herself?
Simply because we cannot change others. Believe me, my clients have tried, often for many years. They have tried everything to change someone else: nagging, begging, sometimes even violence. Nothing works, because somehow their relationship has reached an equilibrium in its dysfunction.
BUT, and this is the good news, when we do change our own input into a relationship, family system or workplace, the output will change too.
Look at it as win-win: you change the bits that don't work for you, and in exchange your relationship either improves or you make space for a new, better relationship, with the new you.
You have nothing to lose.
Are you game to try?
Say for one week?
To change one little behaviour that you think may be undermining your happiness?
I'd love to hear how you go...