Hypnotherapy - weird or wonderful?

Have you ever wondered what hypnotherapy is about? Hypnosis?
Whether it's a cheap stage-trick, or something deeper than that?
The answer is kind of both: weird AND wonderful.

Hypnosis is a state of deep relaxation, when your subconscious is opening up to suggestions.
Where hypnosis differs markedly from hypnotherapy, is that hypnosis can be used for any purpose - even entertain people by "making" others act like chickens, whereas hypnotherapy is only the therapeutic use of hypnosis.

I always thought it quite fascinating, so I did an elective course in hypnotherapy during my psychotherapy degree. It was quite eye-opening, and I've used hypnotherapy in my work ever since - but only as one of the many tools in my toolbox.

Let me answer some of the questions I always get asked.

Can you be "made to do" anything you don't want to?
Definitely not. That's one of the reasons I never use hypnotherapy in a first sessions, even if my client asks for it. I need to find out whether my client actually wants the change s/he is trying to achieve, or whether they're just trying to please someone else (as would be the case if they came to stop smoking for example, not out of their own volition, but rather because of the pressure their family put on them to quit).

Will you fall asleep?
No. You will be aware of everything that is being said and done, though on occasion your mind will wander.

Is it pleasant?
For the great majority of people, it is as refreshing as a nap, and as relaxing as time spent in a spa. The more you do it, the easier and faster it is to relax (I usually teach my clients trigger words, so they can do it by themselves). For some rare clients, the ride is a little bit more intense, and hypnotherapy - like any therapy - can bring up long repressed emotions.

Think of it as guided meditation - first a few relaxation exercises, followed by a walk through a park, with some trigger words added into the mix to help you achieve what you really want, by talking straight to the subconscious mind.

I have used hypnotherapy successfully in my practice for issues as diverse as smoking, binge-drinking, over-eating, social phobia, anger, but always integrated it into a holistic psychotherapeutic approach.

Curious? Just ask me any questions you might have or read more about the father of hypnotherapy, Milton H. Erickson.

What is the point of winning if you don't choose the game?

Most of us have been taught that winning is everything.
For the older generation, only those winning got a prize. For the younger generation, winning is made important by stating that "everyone is a winner".

Of course, coming first has a certain number of advantages. Adulation of the crowd, prizes, and that glowing feeling of being better than the rest.

So what exactly am I asking?
I am questioning whether we ought to pour our energy, time and passion into winning when we are in a race that doesn't "do it for us".

And I am asking, because way too often, we're told to compete in areas that are actually quite indifferent to us.

For example, take "keeping up with the Joneses".
How often do you take into account what your neighbours/colleagues/friends might think when you choose the car you want, the suit you wear or the handbag you carry?

This is a race, a game, which is about outshining others.
Do you choose to play it, or are you just going along with it, in the process spending money to "win"?

Or take your professional career.
Do you want to be the boss? Really want all of the responsibilities? Or just the prize it comes with?
Do you want to be a lawyer or a doctor just because your high school results are so outstanding that those courses were open to you?

The games we play, the races we run, the choices we make are so often about satisfying other people's expectations of us.
Winning those will only ever give us a fleeting moment of satisfaction.

Because we are not true to our real selves, it doesn't make us happy, because whilst we work so hard on winning those, we neglect what we really want.

For some of us, the connection and time spent with our friends, children or family.
For others, to do meaningful as opposed to (outwardly) successful work.

What are you giving up when you run a race you don't actually want to be in?
What price do you pay?

How can you start choosing your own game?

Those are some of the interesting questions that I regularly look at with my clients in my work as a therapist...