Welcome to my latest theory - that we are all like 3-legged dogs.
Let me explain. We go through life thinking that people have got a pretty good handle on it, and hence are like 4-legged dogs, fully functional and "best day ever".
And even more, we think that the other people in our life - our partners, our friends, our parents - all are 4-legged dogs too!
And we set our expectations, towards ourself and towards others accordingly. We/they *should be able* to react rationally, to treat us fairly, to learn and of course - gasp - change if necessary.
Well there is my news: we are not 4-legged dogs. Barely anyone is fully functioning. Most of us have an emotional disability, an internal struggle, that allows us only just to run and look at first sight like a complete dog, when really there is a whole limb missing.
Some hide the missing leg better than others. Some take classes in living with the disability (therapy anyone?). But for most of us, we just limp.
Why is it so important to realise that we're only 3-legged dogs? Because it allows us to cut each other, and ourself, some slack. Maybe the other isn't hurting us because they don't care, or because we aren't worth being treated nicely. Maybe they don't do what's good or necessary, because they just can't.
Look around you. The bitchy girl, the bullying guy, the failing partner? Just 3-legged dogs trying to survive in a dog-eat-dog world.
Realising this can help us to let go of our resentments and allow us to feel compassion instead of judgement.
Seeing ourself and others as the fallible human beings that we are gives us back our humanity. We are not superman or superwoman. Most of us are trying hard to be decent. Let's not judge ourselves and each other when we fall short.