"Honey, we need to talk about death and dying"

"Honey, we need to talk about death and dying" has never said anyone. Well, at least no-one under 70.

We actually avoid the subject entirely, not just as individuals, but also as society.
Have you noticed the euphemisms we use? "He passed". "She left us".

Now I hear you asking - what's wrong with that? Who wants to think about something as morbid as death and dying?

There are a couple of compelling reasons to stop pretending we're immortal.

The first reason is the most obvious. We all will die. Hopefully, not today, or this year, or even this decade. But ultimately, we are sure that we will all die.

By pretending that our lives last forever, that there will always be time tomorrow, we put off things until it's too late.

The day to love others is today.
The day to embrace them is today.
The day to tell them how much they matter to us is today.

And also the day to change the world is today.

Then there is another, more practical reason to talk about death and accept it as part of life: it is that even whilst we deny it, a part of our subconscious mind still knows of course that we will die one day. And that part, deep inside our psyche, will agitate in the background, trying to raise our awareness, so we don't live obliviously.

That part will seep into our consciousness as a feeling of unease, or anxiety, sometimes even feeling like guilt, or panic attacks. Everything will be sort of OK, yet those symptoms will make it hard for us to enjoy our life.

This is what Existential Therapy is about. At the time, it seemed like the most depressing modality I learned about - "we're all alone and then we die". But actually, in a weird way, it is the most hopeful.

Because it teaches us that it is up to us how we live, that there are no outside boundaries, no judge other than ourself. It is taking personal responsibility to its logical conclusion.

It's about living because we are going to die. It means loving because we are alone.